The English and the Polish are very different. It took me a long to time for my partner and I to truly understand each other. In fact, it took me a long time to understand anyone, and I’m sure others thought I was strange, too. Coming to Poland has taught me to be perceptive and judgmental, not necessarily of others, but rather towards myself.
What Will Others Think?
Looking back, I can recall a sunny day in March – here in Poland – when my partner and I went to the market. We had just left the house and were walking down the road when she noticed that I was wearing shorts. “Rob, why are you wearing shorts?” she said, “we need to go back, and you need to take off those shorts and put on some trousers.” I had no idea what the big deal was. It was a beautiful day, such a beautiful day, sunny, not a cloud in the clear blue sky, perhaps a little chilly, but that didn’t bother me. I asked her why I couldn’t wear my shorts. She said with absolute conviction, “because it’s March!” I tried to make a logical connection here. So let’s get this straight, I can’t wear shorts because it’s March, because it is a month, never mind that the sun is shining brightly and I felt warmth on my skin, no, because it’s March. She went on to patiently explain using her rhetoric, “do you see anyone else around you wearing shorts? are you not the only one wearing shorts? what will others think?” That’s when I realised the issue wasn’t the simple fact that it was March or even that it was a little chilly, but rather it was against society’s expectation to be dressed in such a way at that particular time of year.
What it all boils down to is culture. The English are more individualistic, not caring at all what other beings perceive of them, having little or no shame in their appearance or behaviour. On the other hand, the Polish are more collectivist, thinking and acting as a community, and therefore the judgment of everyone around is taken into account, and nobody wants to be a black sheep. The Polish are obedient to society’s expectations and try to stay in line in want of acceptance by the masses. The English just simply don’t care about any of that. That’s why we are not afraid to be different, in fact, we embrace individuality. The downside of being individualistic is that we may seem to be more egotistical, more into ourselves and less helpful or caring towards others around us. Whereas the Polish might be afraid to express themselves and inner thoughts or desires, they are more interested in listening to what the community has to say, listening to a neighbour’s problems and really try to solve it, being more loyal in friendship, and working better as a team.
However, my conclusions are very contradictory. Seeing the Polish as collectivist, I would have assumed that they were subject to conformity, but it is the opposite. The Polish are incredibly strong-minded and hold fast to their beliefs and standards. I thought the Polish, as a collectivist culture, would be very obedient in nature and easily follow rules and laws, but that certainly isn’t the case. The Polish like to ‘kombinować’ in every possible way. There is no real translation for ‘kombinować’ in English because we simply don’t do it. The Polish are as sly as foxes, always having another way around a problem, a trick up their sleeves for better or for worse. But most of all, the Polish do not like following rules, or as a matter of fact anything that is orderly systematic. I know this from experience in the classroom. When my students work in pairs and are given a task to ask each other the 10 questions on their piece of paper, they almost always avoid asking their partner question number 1. They have to go down the list and ask, for example, question number 7, and then number 3, even though they will end up asking all the questions anyway! Why not just start from number 1 and go down the list? I know why not, because that’s what I should expect them to do, but they want to do things their way, not to be told how to do it; they like to ‘kombinować’.
Here’s a joke that one of my students told me a few years ago, and this is how I remember it today:
A Frenchman was standing at the edge of a cliff, and the devil approached him and said, “jump!” The Frenchman said, “no!” The devil went on to say, “if you are a partriot, you’ll jump.” The Frenchman launched himself off the cliff screaming, “Vive la France!”
An Englishman was standing at the edge of a cliff, and the devil approached him and said, “jump!” The Englishman said, “no!” The devil went on to say, “if you are a partriot, you’ll jump.” The Englishman said, “this country isn’t what it used to be, no!” The devil said, “if you are a gentleman, please jump.” The Englishman recognised the devil’s good manners and jumped off the cliff.
A German was standing at the edge of a cliff, and the devil approached him and said, “jump!” The German said, “no!” The devil went on to say, “if you are a partriot, you’ll jump.” The German said, “this country isn’t what it used to be, no!” The devil said, “if you are a gentleman, please jump.” The German said, “me? a gentleman? hah! no!” The devil lost his temper and raised his voice, “it’s an order! Now jump!” The German obediently threw himself off the cliff.
A Pole was standing at the edge of a cliff, and the devil approached him and said, “jump!” The Pole said, “no!” The devil went on to say, “if you are a partriot, you’ll jump.” The Pole said, “no!” The devil said, “if you are a gentleman, please jump.” The Pole said, “no!” The devil lost his temper and raised his voice, “it’s an order! Now jump!” The Pole was equally angry and shouted back, “NO!” The devil was lost for words and didn’t have any more ideas, so the defeated devil said, “fine, in that case don’t jump!” The Pole hearing these words thought to himself, “what, DON”T jump?” And the Pole took a few steps back to prepare himself for a big run-up…
DON’T LEARN MY LANGUAGE…
VOCABULARY – SŁOWNICTWO
perceptive and judgmental – spostrzegawczy i oceniający
not necessarily – niekoniecznie
recall – wspominać
notice – zauważyć
big deal – tyle szumu
chilly – chłodno
bother – niepokoić
conviction – przekonanie
never mind – nieważne
patiently explain – cierpliwie wyjaśnić
issue – zagadnienie / problem
against society’s expectation – przeciw oczekiwaniom społeczeństwa
it all boils down – wszystko się sprowadza
perceive – dostrzec
shame – wstyd
appearance or behaviour – wygląd lub zachowanie
on the other hand – z drugiej strony
community – społeczność
taken into account – brane pod uwagę
obedient – posłuszny
embrace – pieścić / uścisnąć
downside – minusem
whereas – natomiast
inner thoughts or desires – wewnętrzne myśli lub pragnienia
solve – rozwiązać
conclusions – wnioski
contradictory – sprzeczny
assume – założyć
conformity – konformizm
obedient – posłuszny
avoid – uniknąć
the edge of a cliff – krawędź klifu
LEARN MY LANGUAGE