When I’m asked, “How are you?'” I almost always reply, “I’m fine, thanks, and you?” I’m not a cold or reserved person as you may think. That’s just how I routinely respond. In fact, that’s how most English people respond. In England ‘how are you?’ is not really a question, but rather an add on to ‘hi’. English people know that, and that’s why they are almost always likely to respond with an ‘I’m fine, thanks, and you?’. Basically, the ‘how are you?’ part is an indicator of the stage of the relationship between one person and another. You’re likely to say to someone who you consider a friend or relative ‘how are you?’. So if you’re in England and an Englishman asks you how you are, it might not always be the best idea to start telling them about all the terrible things going on in your life, because you might notice them slowly taking steps back and trying to change the subject of the conversation. Just thank them for ‘asking’ and tell them you’re fine. Don’t be sad that they apparently don’t care, but rather see that you have a special relationship with that person – be happy they didn’t just say ‘hi’.
What’s Up? Seriously…
I always felt awkward, and still do, when asked by Polish people ‘co słychać? co tam powiesz? no opowiadaj, co tam?’ My usual response to these seemingly intrusive questions are, “wszytko OK, po staremu!” I’ve noticed that in Poland these are real questions that require a satisfactory elaborate response. But what are they actually asking for in such questions? Do they want me to actually tell them everything I’ve been doing lately? How deep should I dig? I heard that not answering these question with sincerity shows that I have something to hide, or I’m not to be trusted, or I’m just simply unfriendly and see the other person as unworthy of an answer. Such trouble over such a simple thing – which I never even considered to be ‘a thing’.
After such enquiries , I’ve been given advice by many Polish people to say that I’m having a terrible day, that I’m broke, that I don’t feel well – that way people will like me more, apparently. The Polish, unlike the English, can be very empathetic, and if another person is going through hard times, you can be sure to have a shoulder to cry on. However, so I’ve heard, if you’re enjoying the high life, you can expect a degree of jealousy, sometimes inspirational, sometimes malicious. English people tend put a smile on their faces no matter what.
Once getting around the tricky task of telling people my lifestory, it’s time for some small talk – something I’m not at all good at. English people usually engage in elaborate discussion about the weather or about the next football manager to be sacked. But here in Poland, what can I say? The weather is here is stable and the football, well, there’s nothing really to talk about…
Awkward Acting
One thing that still haunts me to this day is when Polish people try a bit of small talk with me, say something I either didn’t hear or understand, and then start laughing. These are my choices in such a scenario: I can laugh along with them, keeping my laugh at a length of duration and volume similar to the friendly comedian who is attempting to humour me; I can keep a straight face and politely ask that person to repeat what they had said, although that just kills the humour and the atmosphere afterwards; finally I could just tell them that I didn’t understand, I’m English, sorry! But then I would pretty much have to tell that to every stranger who says something to me and mysteriously starts laughing.
Anyway, I generally try to be optimistic and positive at all times – glass half full, I say. While I’ve noticed that Polish people love to blend boasting and moaning in their ‘how are you’ conversations, when you’re speaking to me, I’m probably most likely to tell you that I’m fine and of course I would thank you for asking, and I certainly wouldn’t forget to ask you how you are. What I actually say might go something like this:
I’m fine, thanks, and you?
But please, tell me about yourself 🙂
LEARN MY LANGUAGE
ROB WOLFF
VOCABULARY – SŁOWNICTWO
fine – w porządku
reply / respond – odpowiadać
reserved – nierozmowny
In fact – rzeczywiście
but rather an add on – ale raczej dodatek
indicator – wskazówka
stage – etap
likely – prawdopodobne
consider – mniemać / uważać
terrible – straszny
notice – zauważyć
change the subject – zmienić temat
apparently – widocznie / podobno / niby
don’t care – nie obchodzić mnie to
I always felt awkward – zawsze czułem się niezręcznie
seemingly intrusive – pozornie nachalny / natrętny
require a satisfactory elaborate response – wymagają zadowalającej,wypracowany odpowiedzi
lately – ostatnio
How deep should I dig? – Jak głęboko powinienem kopać?
sincerity – szczerość
trusted – zaufany
just simply – tylko po prostu
unworthy – niezasługujący / niegodny
After such enquiries – Po takich zapytaniach
advice – rada
I’m broke – jestem spłukany
unlike – niepodobny / nie jak
going through hard times – przechodzić ciężkie chwile
have a shoulder to cry on – wypłakać się w ramię
expect (a degree of) jealousy – spodziewaj się (trochę) zazdrości
sometimes inspirational, sometimes malicious – czasami inspirujące, czasami złośliwe
no matter what – nieważne co
once getting around the tricky task – po przejściu przez kłopotliwym zadaniu
engage – angażować
sacked – zwolniony
haunts me – nawiedza mnie
small talk – pogawędka
either (this) or (that) – Albo (to), albo (to)
laugh along with them – śmiej się razem z nimi
similar – podobny
attempting to humour me – próbując mnie bawić
keep a straight face – zachować powagę
stranger – nieznajomy
mysteriously – tajemniczo
anyway – tak czy owak
blend boasting and moaning – mieszać pochlebstwa i jęku
certainly – na pewno
LEARN MY LANGUAGE
ROB WOLFF